How can i help my boyfriend deal with his past...?

My bf is 42 and im 23. When he was 17 he had his first serious relationship and he stayed with her for 10 years. She ended up cheating on him and leaving him and he turned to drinking and some drugs. He's done with those things now but its left him scarred.





He doesn't really have trust in me the way he should, and we've been together for 2 years now. I feel like he still isn't opening up to me completely even though he tells me he loves me. He sometimes well most of the time he says im going to leave him one day.





I love him with all of my heart and im just out of ideas on how to make him see that im not going to leave him and that he can trust me and doesn't have to worry. Is there anyone that has been through what he has or similar that can tell me how to deal with him. I really need some advice.





Thanks in advance.How can i help my boyfriend deal with his past...?
ah yes...i have experience in this dept! lol





when i met my bf he was depressed. of course...this is never good for a man because it shakes his confidence in LIFE!





anyway...he and his ex still talked at that point, but several months previous to me getting in the picture, she cheated on him. the girl he was with before HER cheated on him too.








anyway...with all of that going on, he had no confidence in us. he was jealous of all my guy friends (which i have none now because i got rid of them to prove my love--so to speak)





there have been many times where hes been overprotective and somewhat controlling, but at one point, when i could not bear the drama anymore...i told him i would leave him if he could not change. i told him that if i had the opportunity to cheat on him, i would have...if i wanted to use him, i would have....if i wanted to cause him any kind of harm..i could have taken the opportunity long ago.


i said to him, im not your ex...i love you and i have no intention of hurting you...it doesnt even cross my mind....im not a manipulative b* tch and if you dont see that, then i cant do this anymore....because its hurting me too.





and ever since ive seen an improvement in him. he not as jealous anymore--maybe sometimes...when we're out and he catches someone looking at me...he'll immediately wrap his arms around me and kiss my forehead...lol...but thats it.....





...if anything..hes become a good actor..lolHow can i help my boyfriend deal with his past...?
Only time will tell.





I mean actions speak louder than words so by you staying with him he will start to believe you even more as time goes by and also open up to you. Things take time. Me and my bf have been together for 4 yrs and he is still having issues talking about some of his past. Although he has told me a great deal to understand where he's coming from. But in due time...when he's comfortable.
Seriously this happened years ago...he needs to get over it. I mean you haven't been shady and you aren't that other female.
it sounds like he has abandonment issues and he needs to seek some therapy.
robbing the cradle.
Well, just be there for him. But don't let yourself get taken advantage of. Sure you want to prove your love to him but don't want him to expect you to be his slave and then when your not his slave he stops thinking you love him again. So I say to just ignore it and to keep loving him the way that you do and if it really upsets you then tell him to at least even if he feels that you don't love him then to just not mention it to you because your hurt by his denial. Speak to God, Jesus and read the bible.

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