How do i deal with my boyfriends mum?

since day 1 my boyfriends mum has never liked me and still doesnt, every time my boyfriend has had a problem or any of his past relationships what never worked out, he has always had his mums help which is great for some people, she has always been concernerd who he has ever dated due to this which i can fairly understand. But he has just turned 40 and where exspecting a baby later this year. She has told my boyfriend she wants as much involvement more than ever because this is his first child but my second. Iv tried my hardest to try and get on with her and iv offered her to meet my four year old son who is autistic, but she isnt interested. She thinks im not good enough for her son and that im as bad as the rest, if anything goes wrong in my boyfriends life, im always the one to blame, and she has always judged me the wrong way. Iv tried telling my boyfriend how i feel about this, but he keeps telling me she will come round in the end and we will get on, well i cant see this happening and im really worried that she may try splitting us up or even cause trouble between us when my second child is born, my boyfriend still lives with his mum and we will be getting a bigger house of our own soon, but his mum is not happy about this cause she is use to him living there, how do i deal with this and has anyone else had simerlar problems? or even with there inlaws?How do i deal with my boyfriends mum?
If your boyfr really loves you, he should talk to his mum about this.How do i deal with my boyfriends mum?
not to sound rude or anything, but if he's 40 years old and still living with his mom there is something wrong. he needs to know that it's time to move out and be his own adult and have his own life. his mom should stay out of his personal life because it is HIS choice who he sees and who he loves, and not HERS. she needs to learn that she can't have control over him and that he is his own person and that you are the one he wants to be with. there's not much you can do about her, which truly sucks I know, but you just need to let her be her and just be happy with who you are :) just think positively about living together with your man and having an amazing life with your two beautiful children :)