Wednesday, August 18, 2010

How do I deal with my boyfriends 11yr old daughter?

She lies and is very sneaky and mean to me!!!How do I deal with my boyfriends 11yr old daughter?
I was in a marriage with the same problem . My stepdaughter was sneaky and also lied, to make make matters worst I also had a daughter who had home training, manners ,etc. So it looked like I was picking on her because she was always the one in trouble. My best advice, stand your ground you are the adult, she is just a child competing for daddy. Don't play this game trust me. If she tries to hem you up don't let her, she will try to monopolize his time when you are together. Let her , this is quality time for him and her also. Try and bond with her without being her mom. Go get ice cream, do nails together, etc. eventually she hopefully will learn to trust you. By all means DON'T compete for his time, if she wants him to herself let her have him BELIEVE ME he will be grateful and will seek YOU out later for your own playtime:) . I hope it works out, but keep in mind if you're thinking about marrying this guy there is always the possibility she could live with you guys.How do I deal with my boyfriends 11yr old daughter?
you don't do anything. She is upset her father is dating, she wants her mom %26amp; dad back together...you be sweet and understanding and nice no matter what she does...and you leave the parenting and punishment to her father.
beat her up until she learns how to respect everyone around her.
You can do nothing... she is not your kid. She is not your business.
candy is dandy, but lickour is quicker
You have to make her your friend first. When she lies if it does not hurt any one ignore it. When she is being mean try to ignore that too. she is fighting you because she is afraid she will be out in the cold. Her mother and father are no longer together and she is daddy's little girl now but, she is afraid she will lose her daddy to you. You have to show her love . Maybe if you took her out to eat and while having your meal tell her how much you realley like the girl you know she realley is and tell her you are not taking her daddy away and tell her you want her with you as much as her daddy does. She needs LOVE
just deal with it, she is probably just jealous of you because you are taking some of her father's attention off of her. It's normal, she will respect you more for not being resentful and loving her the best you can and letting her have time with her dad, make sure he is showing her lots of love and attention as well as you, so she doesn't feel left out or neglected.
If I were you...I would either find a new boyfriend, or...tell him whats up with the daughter in explaining to him why you are going to stay as far away from her as possible and interact as little as possible with her. And as for dealing with the daughter herself, again, if I were you, I would be cold and remote, not involved at all. If she wanted to make a friendly gesture then by all means respond nicely but until then, again , if I were you, I would do my very best to ignore her.
You don't do anything because this is something your boyfriend needs to take care of with his daughter. As the father it is time for him to take authority over his child and over her unpleasant behavior. On the other hand, I'd like to know if there is a valid reason for her actions. Children usually demonstrate this kind of behavior because they're in some sort of pain and they lack the ability to express themselves in a positive and more acceptable manner. You said what she has been doing to you but you didn't mention your attitude or behavior towards her; therefore, it is difficult to answer this question accurately without further details.
No pain, no game!
Act like a mom to her,


be nice


be a kid
oviously she knows your no good for her dad sorry to say that but its true. my brother also has a daughter and she likes a few of his gf but she doesnt like some and in the end her instincts are correct.or it just could be way to soon for her dad to start dating. i would hate it if my father started to date other women especially since i have gotten used to being with my mom.but really you shouldnt be with this guy because a family should work. and if you really like this guy and dont wanna leave him, dont EVER complain about his daughter or he will get offended because blood always comes first.also you got to let her spend time with her dad once in a while. you can just hog him 24/7. she needs a dad too you know. that could also be a big reason she is rude to you because her dad is paying more attention to you then her.and you let that happen which makes her mad. just because shes 11 doesnt mean shes stupid.
I hope you are able to talk about this openly with your boyfriend. If this is a very serious relationship with him, I would suggest that the three of you find a counselor to talk to. Get a professional opinion of the situation. Just tell your boyfriend you are afraid that the girl and you are off on a bad foot and you want to learn how to relate to her. If you don't find your way through her maze of tests now, they will just get harder and mor disrepectful toward you. SHe doesn't want you in her dad's life so she is trying to push you away. Are you strong?
Refuse to be alone with her for starters.
thats a tough one. anything that involves someones kids is thin ice... I would just back off (of course i dont know how you are currently dealing with her) and not ignore her, but just have a carefree attitude. once she sees that youre gonna treat her in the same manner even if shes nasty to you she will probably quit. you treating her normal will take all the fun out of it.
Talk to the boyfriend, and see if you guys can sit down and have a discussion. If that doesn't work then try just to work it out with the daughter. Sometimes a face to face and can solve some issues!

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