How do I deal with my boyfriends ex-wife?

My boyfriend just moved in with me a month ago and is only home on weekends. His ex drops the kids off and I take them home.1st weekend she stayed 3 hours I showed her the house so she would be comfortable knowing the kids would be safe with us. I've known her for quite sometime and been around the kids since they were little now they are 11 and 13. I got stressed out with her staying so long and went upstairs and stayed there until she left. The next weekend I had to work and she was there when I got off work so she stayed almost 2 hrs this time again I was upset so I went upstairs and she left quickly. Then the 3rd weekend I didn't have to deal with her. I picked up and dropped them off. Last weekend he had to leave at 4:15 and she said she would be here at 4pm to pick the kids up and she got here at 2:50 and stayed until 4. I can't kill her with kindness cause she'll only stay longer. I'm afraid to ask her to leave cause of what she'll say or do. Please Help MeHow do I deal with my boyfriends ex-wife?
Boundaries need to be set and none were set from the beginning, because you were only trying to be nice and show her around. This in her mind was an invitation to hang out each time. She should not be doing this and you had no idea that this would happen. Set the boundaries now. From now on, you do the pick-up / drop off for awhile or have the kids outside and ready to go when she gets there to pick up - even get in your car and say you have to go somewhere, so she won't stay. Don't open your front door or let her in. When she drops off at your home, immediately put them in the car and tell her you are going somewhere. After awhile, if you are not letting her in the house, she should get the hint. This may or may not work and is the only way I can think to avoid confrontation. The only other way would be to have your b/f tell her that long visits are over-stepping boundaries and that the first visit was to just show her they were in a good home. That exchanges will be outside from now on or limited to 5 minutes. Your b/f has to go along with this and stick to it. Of course, this may make things uncomfortable. It's a chance, so the first option is the only way I can see to get around it, but boy will it be exhausting. Best of luck sweetie and hang in there!!How do I deal with my boyfriends ex-wife?
Why is she staying? All she needs to do is drop them off and make sure they are safe. Then leave.
Wonder why she feels the need to stay in your home when coming to get her kids? Tell her when she comes get the kids that you have other things to do as you kindly escort her to the door. If that doesn't work...suggest that you drop the kids off at her place and you will come pick them up as well.
it sounds to me like she's lonley, she obviously likes to annoy you. you need to let her know how you feel without being rude.
Meet her at the door, and don't invite her in, or if you live in a house with a yard, go outside, and talk with her there until she leaves. Trust me, that will go over much better than running upstairs and hiding until she is gone!
the thing i would like to know is why are you afraid of what she will do or say. stop being a baby and tell the woman you will pickup and drop off the kids and that you are uncomfortable with her staying around your house for so long.