Friday, August 20, 2010

How do i deal with my boyfriends x wife?

My boyfriends x wife is driving me nuts!!! As soon as my boyfriend and i got together her family and her started carrying on and would never leave us alone. They have 2 children together so he cannot cut ties with her which is fine! I just wish she would stop being such a looney. Eg. I was not allowed to meet their childre until she said it was ok ohterwise he could not see the children. Which was also fine but she introduced the boys to her bf of only 2 months when i had been with my boyfriend for about 7 8 months and still had not met him as it was a way of still controlling hi. The night he left she said to him your going to pay for this for the rest of your life. After months and months of her lettig him see his boys to not letting him because he didnt do as she asked Eg paying her car repayments even tho they were not together she works gets child support n centrelink benefits. The only reason we see the children now is because we took her to court n got court ordes. Her family follow us around driving, in shopping centres EVERYWHERE but tell ppl its us doin it to them. Her n her family write abusive things about me on the internet its like ses trying to compete with me! My boyfriend and i now have a 3 month old osn and sometimes her children hit him n hurt him and say its beause mummy said to hurt him. It used to be worse with them doing it to me coz she said so n also calling me a ***** n we hate u coz she also said so. They realise now most times im noce and they like me so its starting to stop! She now is pregant with another mans baby and using my boyfriends surname for the baby and she is no longer with the new babies father. I could understand if she wants th children to have th sam name but she flaunts it n is a smart **** to us about it which makes me think she really is doin it jus to piss us off! I could go on with more stuff they do but its just ridiculous. I need tips on how to deal pls!!!! I dont wan to hav to put up with her doin this to me anymore as its not between her n i it should be between my bf n her kids... HELP!!!How do i deal with my boyfriends x wife?
If you are smart you dump him and you do it now. Why do you what to put your self in this position?


How do i deal with my boyfriends x wife?
Your message is nothing but a display of complete immaturity. You just ramble on %26amp; on %26amp; on. You can't even be bothered to spell a complete word.
One of my rules of dating....NEVER I mean NEVER date a guy who has children with someone else. They come with the package so there is nothing you can do exept dump him and find a ';never been married'; guy.








You seem to have a pretty low self esteem if this is the kind of guy you want to date. sorry, but you need to respect yourself and dump this guy. Thats alot of baggage you dont need.......unless you want it.
Seems like your boyfriend's ex is more of a problem for him to deal with than it is for you.





The children are not yours. And she is not your ex. Which means that it shouldn't be that difficult for you to ignore her and her family.





Of course, the ex is a big problem for your boyfriend. But there is not much you can do about that. This is his problem and not yours.
How do you handle this?





Don't stoop to her level, and act like a lady.





His ex wife gets child support because it's the law -- the absent parent is to pay child support, and it is calculated the same way for everyone through the courts. If she receives extra benefits from the state or government, i'm assuming it's because her income is low enough to get these benefits. She's had to disclose her incomes, and the state and government can find out easily about her income and child support.. they have data bases and get this information before giving state aid..





His kids are not your kids, so you aren't the person who needs to be disciplining them while they visit your home. That is your husband's responsibility, and he needs to make sure the kids behave. And get some therapy/help if they need it (sure sounds like they do).





His ex is causing chaos because you're letting her. She's a bitter person. Don't play into it. You have your own life. Live it.



Wow, I feel really bad for you and for your situation. It sounds like boundaries need to be defined. Your boyfriend should set boundaries and follow through with them. She doesn't respect your boyfriend or you, so she oversteps your boundaries. You can check out this book: Boundaries by Henry Cloud. Maybe it can give you some insight on boundaries and learn a few tactics to control your situation with the ex.





Don't ever STOOP to her level. Treat her with respect (no matter how mad she makes you), treat her with love and kindness. That way, there is nothing she can use against you. What can she say? Live your life as a good example and if she chooses to write bad stuff or whatever, your real family and friends will know the true you and not listen that kind of stuff.





Hope that helps.
Frankly I would ignore her and her family. You don't need to have anything to do with them they are nothing to you.


Now your bf is another story he needs to realize that this is his responsibility to take care of. I suggest he contact a lawyer and find out what his options are. Realize that she can't legally keep him from seeing his children this is not her power. So he doesn't need to put up with any of her crap or pay anything other then child support in order to see his children unless it is court ordered.



you could have taken her to court for all the stuff she is doing this is not right. you can prove most of it and she cna't stop visitation he isn't taking it to court she can't do it. he does not have to pay nothing to her but support and do it only he does not have to deal with her to much if he does not want to hurting your son hey i am wondering how this is happening but youc an call police make prepots and get them into trouble there are so many things you can do and not put up with it but i would suggest you mvoe and move now get a new place out of state and then get visitation changed to having them in summer or stuff like that you can do it. and be better of with out them around.

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