Wednesday, August 18, 2010

How to help my boyfriend deal with changes?

(Background: Pretty much since I'd hit puberty, I'd felt tired all the time, had trouble finding motivation to do anything besides lie in bed and read, and had all sorts of physical problems with eating (being able to digest, hypoglycemia, etc.) that led to a seriously weird, depressed and self-centered relationship with people.)





About six months ago, I was diagnosed with a very underactive thyroid gland, and started getting treatment for it. The treatment has been a miracle- I have a ton of energy now, am able to concentrate like I never have, and just have- however corny it sounds- a hunger for life. The problem is, my boyfriend of four years is not quite sure what to do with the ';new me';. Our immediate connection was intellectual and temperamental, and we have built a solid foundation together that has been able to withstand some pretty rough mood swings and depression on my part. Though my new-found energy has allowed me to be much more curious intellectually and much more emotionally stable, both of which my boyfriend loves, he's a little weirded out by my desire to be around people- in general- more often. This is understandable- and he's in no way trying to control me or ';keep me down';. We met and fell in love as mutual super-introverts, and the general ';exuberance'; I'm feeling is great, but it's also a completely different ';me'; than he's been used to. He has no interest in joining in with my new pursuits, and will gladly stay at home while I hike or rockclimb, etc. We're both grad students, and have formed a happy domestic life together over the past three years, and I want to make sure it keeps going. Any suggestions?How to help my boyfriend deal with changes?
Try to engage in some activities that straddle the boundary between physical/intellectual or engage in alternating physical/intellectual activities. Make sure to be as inclusive as possible and give him a chance to participate. Maybe start out with less ';hardcore'; activities like a walk or game of pool before you introduce him to rock-climbing. Don't overdo it, either. If you abandon all of your previous activities that you two shared you'll be in trouble, but there's no reason for you to have to do EVERYTHING with him, either.

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