How to deal with my boyfriends previous hook ups?

Hey,i'm just after a bit of advice.


Me and my boyfriend have been together for over a year now,and overall we are both happy in the relationship. However, i seem to have a tough time dealing with girls that he has kissed or something has happened with prior to our relationship. See,i've had a couple of short term boyfriends and slept with around 5 boys before we got together. However,he was in a long term relationship with his ex for 4 years through school and college. I have no major issues with that. It's more just stuff that he has gotten up to at uni that bothered me. He's kissed 2 girls he lives with (one of which he cheated on me with,the other he cheated on his ex with) then theres been loads of other girls that he's been out and kissed or something more has happened with (not full blown sex). The girls that stuff has happened with have all been really pretty,so it makes me feel uncomfortable and i end up getting arsey with him which i dont like,and im sure he doesn't either. He recently mentioned that after we met on a night out and we were texting one another that he kissed another girl. Now i know that he was well within his right to do this,i just feel crap and it feels like he has cheated on me again. Im just frustrated with it all,its my problem not his but i just want some advice to help me overcome it. Me and my boyfriend have only really argued over the girl he kissed before we go out,its more of just a problem i keep from him.





Thanks for the advice guys :) xHow to deal with my boyfriends previous hook ups?
Just what is it you want to overcome? The fact that he is still messing around with other girls? Do you actually WANT to be O.K. with that? I don't get it...How to deal with my boyfriends previous hook ups?
if he cheated on you, you have every right in the relationship to dictate who he associates with, although i wouldn't recomend staying in a relationship w someone you cant trust.. sry just my advice
A string of incidents like that and you don't get a picture of what this guy is like? Do you think it will ever change?





You are not being respected and should do yourself a favor and move on.
heey(: x


ughh men. lol


i think you should have a biiiig talk with him about it


and if he argues and shizz,


dont put up with it !


xx
1) If he's cheated on you- why are you still with him???





2) His past is his past- you'll get over it in time hun.





3)If you don't want to leave him, sit down and talk to him. Start the conversation with '; It's not a big issue'; OR '; Please don't make this an argument'; tell him what your finding hard to deal with. If he's real boyfriend material. You guys wont argue and you'll sort stuff out.





Been with my partner for 8 years- there was tonnes of arguments and threats of breaking up in the first 2 years but now he is my best friend and the only way that will ever happen is if you talk. A boy can not be classed as a boyfriend unless you can talk to him right? That's what friends are for
He cheated on you AND other girls. Sounds to me that he sleeps around and cheats a lot.In my opinion once a cheater always a cheater and you deserve better then him.c would advise you to move on and date someone else who does not kiss /hook up with random girls.





PS. Its NOT your problem, its HIS! He should not hook up with other girls.You don't have to put up with his cheating on you.
I feel this is best answered by a great man. Silent Bob, do your thing.





Silent Bob: ';So there's me and Amy, and we're all inseparable, right? Just big time in love. And then four months down the road, the idiot gear kicks in, and I ask about the ex-boyfriend. Which, as we all know, is a really dumb move. But you know how it is: you don't wanna know, but you just have to, right? Stupid guy bullshit. So, anyway, she starts telling me about him - how they fell in love, and how they went out for a couple of years, and how they lived together, her mother likes me better, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah - and I'm okay. But then she drops the bomb on me, and the bomb is this: it seems that a couple of times, while they were going out, he brought some people to bed with them. M茅nage 脿 trois, I believe it's called. Now this just blows my mind, right? I mean, I am not used to this sort of thing. I mean, I was raised Catholic, for God's sake.


So I'm totally weirded out by this, right? And I just start blasting her. Like, I don't know how to deal with what I'm feeling, so I figure the best way is by calling her a slut, right? And tell her she was used. I'm... I'm out for blood. I really wanna hurt this girl. I'm like, ';What the **** is your problem?';, right? And she's just all calmly trying to tell me, like, it was that time and it was that place and she doesn't think she should apologize because she doesn't feel that she's done anything wrong. I'm like, ';Oh, really?'; That's when I look her straight in the eye, I tell her it's over. I walk. It was a mistake. I wasn't disgusted with her, I was afraid. At that moment, I felt small, like... like I'd lacked experience, like I'd never be on her level, like I'd never be enough for her or something like that, you know what I'm saying? But, what I did not get, she didn't care. She wasn't looking for that guy anymore. She was... she was looking for me, for the Bob. But, uh, by the time I figure this all out, it was too late, man. She moved on, and all I had to show for it was some foolish pride, which then gave way to regret. She was the girl, I know that now. But I pushed her away. So I've spent every day since then chasing Amy... so to speak.';
Have you heard of the word ';Self Respect'; ??? Wel, its time to practice that.





I can assure u he's gonna cheat on u again. It's ure call... do u wanna be with a cheater and a liar or do u wanna give ureself a much deserved break and a chance for a healthy relationship.





It doesnt matter how pretty or ugly those girls are, ure bf is a slut. If a slut is what u want, stay with him. But if what u want is a bf, then sweetheart, let me tell u, ure with the wrong guy.





And he lives with them and kisses them and cheats on u? Gosh! How much patience do u have? Patience is not always a good thing. Ure a good woman, go and find a good man.
Here's some advice - paragraphs.





Anywho, to answer your question:


I can see why you might be a little paranoid, but I don't think you have anything to worry about. He seems to be upfront with you, before he mentioned the girl he kissed, and he's obviously told you of other sexual encounters.


He's with you, not them. He sounds like he's honest, and it does sound like you're over-reacting a little.


Try to relax a bit, and TALK to him. Tell him it worries you or whatever. Don't get cagey and be aggressive, but talk it out. I'm sure he'll reassure you.