im having a really hard time dealing with his kids these days,, when I first moved in with him two years ago,,everything was fine, they even wanted me to marry there dad,, now they would like to see me go,, he has four kids all together,,and now one lives with us,,and she 20 years old,,and now another one wants to move in as well and she is 17,,, they do not respect there dad or I,,at all,, they rule the rooster when there here,, they take over everything,,and when I try to stick up for there dad and I,,, everybody gets mad at me,,, so what to do,, HELP!How to deal with my boyfriends kids
kick em out.How to deal with my boyfriends kids
Get rid of their dad. If you are having these problems now, they will only get worse if you marry him. I went through the same thing.
change the locks on the doors
Friday, August 20, 2010
What's the best way to deal with a boyfriend that has had a drug addiction in the past?
I recently started dating my boyfriend. Well,a month ago.
He's very nice and I pretty much adore him. The only problem is,I am worried that he will go behind my back and do what he use to do.
Since we got together he vowed to never touch a drug again. While I trust him to a certain extent,I also know that quitting drugs isn't just that easy to do,and sometimes still wonder.
How is one to deal with this,any advice?What's the best way to deal with a boyfriend that has had a drug addiction in the past?
N.A will help I'm an ex addict have been clean 14 months now. I go to 12 step meetings each week i also work and keep fit tell him to get into program where people that have been through the same thing can help him.......What's the best way to deal with a boyfriend that has had a drug addiction in the past?
tell him how much you admire him for being strong enough to quit,
try to keep the relationship positive, do not burden him with your problems, or start fights.
Many people get cravings several months after quitting, so be ready to support %26amp; distract him if that happens. If remains clean for year, he can do it forever. But be ready to leave him if can't make it.
I quit, just that easy. i remember how F-ed-up i use to be after being up for 4 days, and how angry i was at random people for no reason. I remember the hangovers that used to be there after getting smashed. Or waking up not remembering where i was. and then the struggle and sweats i would get from heroin.Now i wake up and realize i dont want to feel that any more.
Yeah. Watch for signs that his past drug problem hasn't moved back into the present. If it does, tell him to go to treatment or you're outta here.
that was his past and it made him who he is today, he as not deceived you and you should trust him to give him strengh to carry on his good work
Make him switch to a healthy diet u knw...juices n stuff...he'll then hate going back to drugs himself...n if possible make him knw abt ppl who had/have drugs n who suffered
trust him and if that is the pass let it be and if you see him doing it than just leave him
What drug was he into? That's the most critical thing to look at before deciding if he may go back to using them.
Run..his past will jeopardise your future!
When I was in my twenties, I was a heavy addict of downers, any kind I could get my hands on. I even melted some and shot them under my tongue. When I went to a rehab, they didn't even want to take me, they said they couldn't help me because I needed LONG TERM help.
But, I was determined, and I quit. And, because I worked to damn hard to quit, if someone didn't trust me when I said I wasn't doing it anymore, I wouldn't go out with them again.
Of course, I didn't blame them for being a little wary, but, unless I gave them good reason not to trust me, or they heard I was doing drugs again or I was acting funny, then I felt that they should trust me.
It takes guts and work to quit drugs, and is an everyday struggle. But, at this rehab, they said don't even THINK about a relationship for at least two years into sobriety, because we needed to concentrate on staying sober without any major interruptions.
I found this to be true, because every person that didn't listen and got into a relationship, with all the little problems, arguments, jealousy's, etc., ended up back on drugs or alcohol.
You CAN be sober for many, many years and then fall off the wagon and start your addiction again, even if it's twenty years down the road. The feelings of addiction never go away, because that is how you handled your problems, and the first thing you think about when you have a problem, is how easy it would be to just get high and not deal with it.
My question to you is this; what was he on, how long was he on it, how much did he do, and did he get help in quitting? Also, did he change his lifestyle when he quit drugs. You cannot go back to your old lifestyle and friends once you quit drugs or alcohol. Not if they are the friends that are still into it. Stopping an addiction is an entire lifestyle change.
If any of those questions I asked you were a concern to you, than be very careful, but trust him until he proves otherwise.
look i'm the best person to tell you about drug addiction and you know if someone is cheating cus i uesd to do X,lsd,ext... just hard-core drugs really bad it ****** up me and the ppl around me it made me think dif about life i did alot of thingsi'm not happy of :/
but the reson i stop was well...my gf really cared about me and i cared alot about her and i man up and i picked her over drugs
i mean it's not easy to stop doing i'm being honset so if your bf does weed on him don't get to mad cus drugs are really had to doing trust me i know but tell him how you feel try to do like lots of fun things to get his mind off of drugs like movies,mall,danceing but not party's try your best make sure he does not hangout with ppl who do drugs cus he will started doing them again i'm trying my best not hang around ppl who do drugs cus i know i will get back in to them
but ya your bf should be really happy that he has someone who really does care about him cus it helps alot when you have someone there for you it's the best way for someone to relays
He's very nice and I pretty much adore him. The only problem is,I am worried that he will go behind my back and do what he use to do.
Since we got together he vowed to never touch a drug again. While I trust him to a certain extent,I also know that quitting drugs isn't just that easy to do,and sometimes still wonder.
How is one to deal with this,any advice?What's the best way to deal with a boyfriend that has had a drug addiction in the past?
N.A will help I'm an ex addict have been clean 14 months now. I go to 12 step meetings each week i also work and keep fit tell him to get into program where people that have been through the same thing can help him.......What's the best way to deal with a boyfriend that has had a drug addiction in the past?
tell him how much you admire him for being strong enough to quit,
try to keep the relationship positive, do not burden him with your problems, or start fights.
Many people get cravings several months after quitting, so be ready to support %26amp; distract him if that happens. If remains clean for year, he can do it forever. But be ready to leave him if can't make it.
I quit, just that easy. i remember how F-ed-up i use to be after being up for 4 days, and how angry i was at random people for no reason. I remember the hangovers that used to be there after getting smashed. Or waking up not remembering where i was. and then the struggle and sweats i would get from heroin.Now i wake up and realize i dont want to feel that any more.
Yeah. Watch for signs that his past drug problem hasn't moved back into the present. If it does, tell him to go to treatment or you're outta here.
that was his past and it made him who he is today, he as not deceived you and you should trust him to give him strengh to carry on his good work
Make him switch to a healthy diet u knw...juices n stuff...he'll then hate going back to drugs himself...n if possible make him knw abt ppl who had/have drugs n who suffered
trust him and if that is the pass let it be and if you see him doing it than just leave him
What drug was he into? That's the most critical thing to look at before deciding if he may go back to using them.
Run..his past will jeopardise your future!
When I was in my twenties, I was a heavy addict of downers, any kind I could get my hands on. I even melted some and shot them under my tongue. When I went to a rehab, they didn't even want to take me, they said they couldn't help me because I needed LONG TERM help.
But, I was determined, and I quit. And, because I worked to damn hard to quit, if someone didn't trust me when I said I wasn't doing it anymore, I wouldn't go out with them again.
Of course, I didn't blame them for being a little wary, but, unless I gave them good reason not to trust me, or they heard I was doing drugs again or I was acting funny, then I felt that they should trust me.
It takes guts and work to quit drugs, and is an everyday struggle. But, at this rehab, they said don't even THINK about a relationship for at least two years into sobriety, because we needed to concentrate on staying sober without any major interruptions.
I found this to be true, because every person that didn't listen and got into a relationship, with all the little problems, arguments, jealousy's, etc., ended up back on drugs or alcohol.
You CAN be sober for many, many years and then fall off the wagon and start your addiction again, even if it's twenty years down the road. The feelings of addiction never go away, because that is how you handled your problems, and the first thing you think about when you have a problem, is how easy it would be to just get high and not deal with it.
My question to you is this; what was he on, how long was he on it, how much did he do, and did he get help in quitting? Also, did he change his lifestyle when he quit drugs. You cannot go back to your old lifestyle and friends once you quit drugs or alcohol. Not if they are the friends that are still into it. Stopping an addiction is an entire lifestyle change.
If any of those questions I asked you were a concern to you, than be very careful, but trust him until he proves otherwise.
look i'm the best person to tell you about drug addiction and you know if someone is cheating cus i uesd to do X,lsd,ext... just hard-core drugs really bad it ****** up me and the ppl around me it made me think dif about life i did alot of thingsi'm not happy of :/
but the reson i stop was well...my gf really cared about me and i cared alot about her and i man up and i picked her over drugs
i mean it's not easy to stop doing i'm being honset so if your bf does weed on him don't get to mad cus drugs are really had to doing trust me i know but tell him how you feel try to do like lots of fun things to get his mind off of drugs like movies,mall,danceing but not party's try your best make sure he does not hangout with ppl who do drugs cus he will started doing them again i'm trying my best not hang around ppl who do drugs cus i know i will get back in to them
but ya your bf should be really happy that he has someone who really does care about him cus it helps alot when you have someone there for you it's the best way for someone to relays
I need help! I need ideas on how to deal with my boyfriends deployment.?
If you have experience dealing with a loved one being deployed please give me so suggestions on what I can do to cope with less communication than I would like. I am new to this process and want to make it work so any help would be awesome!!I need help! I need ideas on how to deal with my boyfriends deployment.?
volunteer for organizations that aide soldiers. or just volunteer for something you are passionate about.
create a social network with other wives/girlfriends. take turns hosting dinners or get togethers.
visit with his family, who will be missing him too.I need help! I need ideas on how to deal with my boyfriends deployment.?
find other women who have there boyfriend or husband deployed and try to get together one or two times a week
birds of a feathershared hosting web ftp hosting
volunteer for organizations that aide soldiers. or just volunteer for something you are passionate about.
create a social network with other wives/girlfriends. take turns hosting dinners or get togethers.
visit with his family, who will be missing him too.I need help! I need ideas on how to deal with my boyfriends deployment.?
find other women who have there boyfriend or husband deployed and try to get together one or two times a week
birds of a feather
How do you deal with a boyfriend who has a child he hasn't seen in several years?
I am in a very serious relationship with a man who had a child in college and hasn't seen that child in several years. He obviously feels very guilty about it, but says that the child's stepfather is taking good care of her. I am not sure how to deal with this. This is a man I want to spend the rest of my life with... What is the best way to handle the situation?How do you deal with a boyfriend who has a child he hasn't seen in several years?
the best way to handle the situation is to talk to him a bit more and find out exactly what's going on and whether or not he really regrets his choices and what he'd do differently if he had it to do over again.
This last part is very important if you plan on having children w/ him because w/ people, past behavior is a prediction of future behavior if they haven't grown. His reasons for not being a part of his daughter's life will also tell you what kind of man he used to be (%26amp; could still be) and what type of relationship he had w/ his ex and how he behaves in a break up. Be leery of any blanket statements where everything is all the other person's fault--it is very very rarely true. Believe complaints about the ex when he also is able to point out his negative behavior in the situation.
you've been given a heads up that you need to move slowly w/ this guy until all of your questions have been answered. This isn't the sort of convo you can have and expect a big one time info dump. This is something that will be ongoing for a while and that will reveal itself over time if you're paying attention.How do you deal with a boyfriend who has a child he hasn't seen in several years?
If he had a relationship with his child that was a happy one, there would be no reason that he would not see his child, no matter who is taking care of her. There's a reason behiond him not seeing his child and the reason is NOT that the stepfather is taking of her!! You need to get to the bottom of that before you get too far involved with this person. Maybe he's really a deadbeat dad - hate to say that, but he could be! Maybe somethng happened between him and his daughter that you are not aware of.
Nothing would keep me away from my children for several years, NOTHING! No matter who was taking care of them!
You may very well find that there is more to this story that he has not told you, be gentle in your probing him for answers! But you need answers and true ones, if you plan to spend the rest of your life with this person.
Holly, he needs to explain to you why he has chosen to not be apart of his child's life until now. This may have a great impact on your relationship. How would he treat you and your child if you have one together? Would he walk away from you? You need to really resolve this but deal with it with plenty of love but be FIRM with him. Show him that you indeed respect him but this is a very serious part of you guys lives. This is effecting five people and his child is center and most important in his life, before you and your relationship. The child needs to know that he loves and cares and will be there for them regardless now. He cannot come in and out of her life. This will only makes matters worse. People don't understand the impact of parents being separate from the child. He needs to show you that he is a kind person and he will do anything to make up for lose time. Standing by his side and showing him support and suggest ideas how he and his child can grow closer together. Answers, respect, honestly and patience are key here.
I found out a couple months ago that I might have a kid I didn't know about. If she is mine she's nine years old already.
Before finding out I didn't have a clue. I still don't know if she is mine or not. I've since decided that I am not going to contact the mother or the daughter until she is at least 16 and can handle the mental anguish. If she is mine, the mother probably hasn't told her the truth about who her father is.
I want kids. I think I would be a good father and a devoted husband.
So for you what you need to ask yourself is this man you're interested in the type of person who would be a good father and a devoted husband?
If yes, then don't worry about his kid. He worries about it enough already.
I think that now it will only do harm if ur guy will try to meet his kid. He is just a biological dad, the real dad is one who is bringing it up..
When young, at college people make mistakes. I think that kid is no problem for u. Now u make a new family with the guy.. luck
The only situation going on is in your head!!! Nothing is going to change between you and him unless you start to make an issues out of this. Just support your man and he will continue to take care of you!!!
if you settle for that, then deal with it
otherwise speak up and tell him how you feel and if he don't care send him a ultimatum
u dump him
the best way to handle the situation is to talk to him a bit more and find out exactly what's going on and whether or not he really regrets his choices and what he'd do differently if he had it to do over again.
This last part is very important if you plan on having children w/ him because w/ people, past behavior is a prediction of future behavior if they haven't grown. His reasons for not being a part of his daughter's life will also tell you what kind of man he used to be (%26amp; could still be) and what type of relationship he had w/ his ex and how he behaves in a break up. Be leery of any blanket statements where everything is all the other person's fault--it is very very rarely true. Believe complaints about the ex when he also is able to point out his negative behavior in the situation.
you've been given a heads up that you need to move slowly w/ this guy until all of your questions have been answered. This isn't the sort of convo you can have and expect a big one time info dump. This is something that will be ongoing for a while and that will reveal itself over time if you're paying attention.How do you deal with a boyfriend who has a child he hasn't seen in several years?
If he had a relationship with his child that was a happy one, there would be no reason that he would not see his child, no matter who is taking care of her. There's a reason behiond him not seeing his child and the reason is NOT that the stepfather is taking of her!! You need to get to the bottom of that before you get too far involved with this person. Maybe he's really a deadbeat dad - hate to say that, but he could be! Maybe somethng happened between him and his daughter that you are not aware of.
Nothing would keep me away from my children for several years, NOTHING! No matter who was taking care of them!
You may very well find that there is more to this story that he has not told you, be gentle in your probing him for answers! But you need answers and true ones, if you plan to spend the rest of your life with this person.
Holly, he needs to explain to you why he has chosen to not be apart of his child's life until now. This may have a great impact on your relationship. How would he treat you and your child if you have one together? Would he walk away from you? You need to really resolve this but deal with it with plenty of love but be FIRM with him. Show him that you indeed respect him but this is a very serious part of you guys lives. This is effecting five people and his child is center and most important in his life, before you and your relationship. The child needs to know that he loves and cares and will be there for them regardless now. He cannot come in and out of her life. This will only makes matters worse. People don't understand the impact of parents being separate from the child. He needs to show you that he is a kind person and he will do anything to make up for lose time. Standing by his side and showing him support and suggest ideas how he and his child can grow closer together. Answers, respect, honestly and patience are key here.
I found out a couple months ago that I might have a kid I didn't know about. If she is mine she's nine years old already.
Before finding out I didn't have a clue. I still don't know if she is mine or not. I've since decided that I am not going to contact the mother or the daughter until she is at least 16 and can handle the mental anguish. If she is mine, the mother probably hasn't told her the truth about who her father is.
I want kids. I think I would be a good father and a devoted husband.
So for you what you need to ask yourself is this man you're interested in the type of person who would be a good father and a devoted husband?
If yes, then don't worry about his kid. He worries about it enough already.
I think that now it will only do harm if ur guy will try to meet his kid. He is just a biological dad, the real dad is one who is bringing it up..
When young, at college people make mistakes. I think that kid is no problem for u. Now u make a new family with the guy.. luck
The only situation going on is in your head!!! Nothing is going to change between you and him unless you start to make an issues out of this. Just support your man and he will continue to take care of you!!!
if you settle for that, then deal with it
otherwise speak up and tell him how you feel and if he don't care send him a ultimatum
u dump him
How Do I deal with my boyfriend not being a virgin and I am?
I have a boyfriend but he lost he virginity like a week before we got together and its making feel weird cause its like, I wanted us to lose our virginity's together. How Am I Suppose to feel. Should I just deal with it.?How Do I deal with my boyfriend not being a virgin and I am?
I understand how you feel, it can be really hard, i know it was for me. But if you love him and you are serious about being with him, then don't think about what he's done, pretend it didn't happen. There will be times where it will be difficult for you but i suggest that you don't ask him any questions about his past, it will only make things harder on you. Just try and forget about it, you will in time. I hope everything works out ok xHow Do I deal with my boyfriend not being a virgin and I am?
You can't lose them together, so I suggest you deal with it because that's your only choice... that and breaking up with him to find a virgin to lose it to.
I understand how you feel, it can be really hard, i know it was for me. But if you love him and you are serious about being with him, then don't think about what he's done, pretend it didn't happen. There will be times where it will be difficult for you but i suggest that you don't ask him any questions about his past, it will only make things harder on you. Just try and forget about it, you will in time. I hope everything works out ok xHow Do I deal with my boyfriend not being a virgin and I am?
You can't lose them together, so I suggest you deal with it because that's your only choice... that and breaking up with him to find a virgin to lose it to.
How do i deal with my boyfriend trying to pick a fights with me?
My boyfriend of almost 5 years is always trying to create a fight with me out of nowhere whenever he wants to get some space.How do i deal with that? P.S. otherwise he is a very good and caring manHow do i deal with my boyfriend trying to pick a fights with me?
men will pick a fight when they are seeing another woman as wa way of justifying what they are doing, or as a way to get out of the house to be with the other woman. he seems like a man who can't problem solve or deal with himself. if he is disrespecting u and picking fights then he really doesn't sound like he loves u. sometimes there are things u can't deal with unless u confront it head on and tell him what your feeling.How do i deal with my boyfriend trying to pick a fights with me?
You have been with him 5 years and he has made no true commitment to you?????
And you can not see what he is doing????
He is needing his space because he does not want the relationship anymore and he doesn't know how to be honest with you.
Girl.....give him his space and more. Go find you again and stop suffocating him. Maintain your self respect and dignity.....do not hurt yourself anymore...by wasting your life and love on a guy who, obviously, doesn't love you. Only you can change the outcome of this by changing you.....you can not change him.
When a man truly loves a woman, he WANTS and NEEDS to be with you......he laughs with you, cuddles with you, and plans a future with you. After 5 years....he still hasn't made any true commitment to you???? I think I would have enough pride to get the hint.
I am not trying to hurt your feelings....but really, I think you are hurting yourself by settling for a guy that doesn't want to be with you.
Never settle.....and I think you are scared to leave for fear of the unknown.....But....it takes courage to live and courage to love....and even more courage to leave...when the door has been opened for you.
Sorry....but you asked
Naw, stop accepting partial niceness from him. If he is nice 85% and a stinker 15%....HE IS A STINKER.
WHY? That is the great question. Why the need for space..usually that indicates an interest outside of your relationship. Not necessarily another woman, perhaps a need for male bonding. Perhaps just bored being at home and he knows the truth will cause a disagreement, so he starts one to get out on top of the game. Who knows. Only him. Ask him why he starts arguments and you will get another. Agree with him when you see it coming and see how he squirms to get out. Something is amis!
Why create a fight just to get some ';me'; time. Wouldn't it be better to be open and honest and save the fight? Just tell your significant other that you need some ';me'; time. In the long run it would be healthier for the relationship and both parties involved than the fake fight excuse.
There is no positive to his actions. He is not a good and caring man or he wouldn't put you through this. Stop trying to make excuses and get out of the relationship. If you are smothering him then stop it. That's not a way to keep a guy. Good luck
Deal with it by locking him out of the house the next time he stomps off in a sulk.
When a person picks a fight so that they can leave, 8 times out of 10 they are cheating.
I wish I could help you, but I only know marriage and divorce things. This is the marriage and divorce section that you're in, not the dating and relationships section. Did you post the question here by mistake?
don't respond to his picking. just tell him, I am not going to argue with you over this.
Walk away from him.
men will pick a fight when they are seeing another woman as wa way of justifying what they are doing, or as a way to get out of the house to be with the other woman. he seems like a man who can't problem solve or deal with himself. if he is disrespecting u and picking fights then he really doesn't sound like he loves u. sometimes there are things u can't deal with unless u confront it head on and tell him what your feeling.How do i deal with my boyfriend trying to pick a fights with me?
You have been with him 5 years and he has made no true commitment to you?????
And you can not see what he is doing????
He is needing his space because he does not want the relationship anymore and he doesn't know how to be honest with you.
Girl.....give him his space and more. Go find you again and stop suffocating him. Maintain your self respect and dignity.....do not hurt yourself anymore...by wasting your life and love on a guy who, obviously, doesn't love you. Only you can change the outcome of this by changing you.....you can not change him.
When a man truly loves a woman, he WANTS and NEEDS to be with you......he laughs with you, cuddles with you, and plans a future with you. After 5 years....he still hasn't made any true commitment to you???? I think I would have enough pride to get the hint.
I am not trying to hurt your feelings....but really, I think you are hurting yourself by settling for a guy that doesn't want to be with you.
Never settle.....and I think you are scared to leave for fear of the unknown.....But....it takes courage to live and courage to love....and even more courage to leave...when the door has been opened for you.
Sorry....but you asked
Naw, stop accepting partial niceness from him. If he is nice 85% and a stinker 15%....HE IS A STINKER.
WHY? That is the great question. Why the need for space..usually that indicates an interest outside of your relationship. Not necessarily another woman, perhaps a need for male bonding. Perhaps just bored being at home and he knows the truth will cause a disagreement, so he starts one to get out on top of the game. Who knows. Only him. Ask him why he starts arguments and you will get another. Agree with him when you see it coming and see how he squirms to get out. Something is amis!
Why create a fight just to get some ';me'; time. Wouldn't it be better to be open and honest and save the fight? Just tell your significant other that you need some ';me'; time. In the long run it would be healthier for the relationship and both parties involved than the fake fight excuse.
There is no positive to his actions. He is not a good and caring man or he wouldn't put you through this. Stop trying to make excuses and get out of the relationship. If you are smothering him then stop it. That's not a way to keep a guy. Good luck
Deal with it by locking him out of the house the next time he stomps off in a sulk.
When a person picks a fight so that they can leave, 8 times out of 10 they are cheating.
I wish I could help you, but I only know marriage and divorce things. This is the marriage and divorce section that you're in, not the dating and relationships section. Did you post the question here by mistake?
don't respond to his picking. just tell him, I am not going to argue with you over this.
Walk away from him.
How to deal with my boyfriend going on deployment?
Hello,
Just a couple of weeks ago my boyfriend found out he is getting deployed soon. I am having a hard time dealing with him leaving. We have been together for quite some time and we are very serious, so this isn't a young love type of relationship. Any advice on how to deal with this, would be helpful. Also, please include things you did before your significant other left and during the deployment that made it easier. And how did you deal with him returning? I am guessing his attitude will be different when he returns... how did you cope? How did you help him cope? Thank you so much.How to deal with my boyfriend going on deployment?
Well make god a big part of your life trust him with your sorrows and your fears. Second be strong your bf is doing a great thing serving his coountry be proud.
Just a couple of weeks ago my boyfriend found out he is getting deployed soon. I am having a hard time dealing with him leaving. We have been together for quite some time and we are very serious, so this isn't a young love type of relationship. Any advice on how to deal with this, would be helpful. Also, please include things you did before your significant other left and during the deployment that made it easier. And how did you deal with him returning? I am guessing his attitude will be different when he returns... how did you cope? How did you help him cope? Thank you so much.How to deal with my boyfriend going on deployment?
Well make god a big part of your life trust him with your sorrows and your fears. Second be strong your bf is doing a great thing serving his coountry be proud.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)