How can I help my 45 year old boyfriend deal with the suicide of his 20 year old son?

I'm 27 and we had a baby girl 7 months ago. I've dealt with suicide on a second person basis before, i.e. my maternal grandparents, and lots of family members and ex-boyfriends that ';attempted';, so I feel like an expert, but not. I just want to know the best way I can support him without being pushy but also without being stand off-ishHow can I help my 45 year old boyfriend deal with the suicide of his 20 year old son?
Where suicide is involved, family, and friends often feel guilty, and responsible, for not noticing the signs, and doing something about it when there was still time.


See: http://www.cmha.ca/bins/site_page.asp?ci鈥?/a> Sometimes, if it induces suicide attempts from family members, or friends, it can result in either additional grief, for others, or horrible permanent consequences (see SUICIDE: ANECDOTAL, in section 5, at ezy build).





Some suggestions, and resources follow: Call: The Grief Recovery Institute (U.S.A.) 1-800-445-4808, or Hospice (phone book). Email jo@samaritans.org Chatrooms and forums: http://www.chatmag.com/topics/health/gri鈥?/a> and http://talkingminds.15.forumer.com/ and http://messageboards.ivillage.com/ Other websites: www.griefnet.org/ and www.helpguide.org/ (coping, supporting others, loss of relationship, or pet) and www.mental-health-abc.com/ and www.boblivingstone.com/?q=node30 and www.crusebereavementcare.org.uk/ There is a grief support group at: http://dailystrength.org/ Also try Groups, at Myspace.com and Yahoo.com %26amp; Google.com At www.mind.org.uk/ type ';grief'; in the taskbar, and enter. Understand that there are often several stages of grief. Those stages are:





Denial: The initial stage: ';It can't be happening.';


Anger: ';Why ME? It's not fair?!'; (either referring to God, oneself, or anybody perceived, rightly or wrongly, as ';responsible';)


Bargaining: ';Just let me live to see my son graduate.';


Depression: ';I'm so sad, why bother with anything?';


Acceptance: ';It's going to be alright.


Growth: Grief is a chance for personal growth. For many people, it may eventually lead to renewed energy to invest in new activities and new relationships. K眉bler-Ross originally applied these stages to any form of catastrophic personal loss (job, income, freedom). This also includes the death of a loved one and divorce.





K眉bler-Ross also claimed these steps do not necessarily come in order, nor are they all experienced by all patients, though she stated a person will always experience at least two.See www.amazon.com/ for books on the various stages. After a while, consider making a photoalbum/scrapbook and/or a shrine, in remembrance, and set aside; say; one day every month, perhaps on a significant date, (for example; the 17th, or the second thursday) on which to reflect. Many religious organisations offer counselling, or you may feel more comfortable with a therapist, to express your thoughts, and feelings. Journalling may help in this. Celebrate that life; be thankful for the experience, and remember the good times. If there is depression: visit your doctor, and see depression treatments, at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris in section 2. ; view page R first. Also see: EMOTIONAL CONTROL. EMOTIONAL THOUGHT STOPPING: PAGE L, in section 2, at ezy build, and page N, in section 6, on negative thoughts %26amp; images.





If you practice, and become proficient in one of the relaxation techniques, it enables awareness, and a way of being, without emotional suffering, and helps you through the more difficult times in life. Suggested Resources on Grief and Mourning: Beyond Grief: A guide for recovering from the death of a loved one; and: Men and grief: A guide for men surviving the death of a loved one, New Harbinger Productions Inc. 5674 Shattock Ave, Oakland, CA 94609 Phone: 1-800-784-6273 ~~~ James, J. W. %26amp; Friedman, R. (1998). The Grief Recovery Handbook, Collins. ~~~ Grollman, E. (1995). Living when a Loved One has Died, Beacon Press. ~~~ Livingstone, B. (Planned August, 2007). The Body-Mind-Soul Solution: Healing Emotional Pain through Exercise, Pegasus Books. ~~~ Simon, S, %26amp; Drantell, J. J. (1998).How can I help my 45 year old boyfriend deal with the suicide of his 20 year old son?
The best way to support your boyfriend is let him know that you are there for him. Everyone grieves in their own way. He will probably never get over the loss of his son but he will learn to live with the loss.
umm honestly 27 and 45??? ok first off get help and investigate why your son was mad angery depessed etc go ask your doctor
That's a tough one, get professional help, no drugs or alcohol. Both of you folks should get some counseling.
45 and 27!? major AGE GAP and his son can probably look like your brother.