How to deal with boyfriends son?

The guy I am currently dating for pretty much a year now, has a 5 yr old son. He gets to see him every couple of months, since the boys mother lives in another state. When my boyfriend sees his son, I can't help feeling irritated. Why? Well, I would be lying if I said it takes away from my ';us time';, but it's not even all about that. His son constantly asks a billion questions, always is making loud noises, thinks everyone should give their attention to him, and can be somewhat of a nuisance. When he is visiting his dad, I hear about how he always has to sleep in the same bed as my guy, and he always has to be all over him, as if he has nobody else to play with. Do you think I am too harsh thinking that? Honest answers only please. I really want to show my boyfriend that I love him, and want to care for his son, but because I've had no past experience dating a guy with a son, do you have any tips?How to deal with boyfriends son?
The kid only sees his father every couple of months...of course he's going to be all over him and wanting all his attention! Plus, he's 5 years old and that's what they do. Let them have father and son time that's much needed. Maybe one afternoon the three of you should all go do something together. Go to the park, bake inside, go out for dinner, do some kind of craft.How to deal with boyfriends son?
He only gets to see his son a few times a year %26amp; you can't understand why the two of them want to spend all of that time, when they do get to see each other, together?





What if your boyfriend could only see *you* a few times a year? Wouldn't the two of you want to spend all of that time together?
Ok here is my honest answer......and I am not trying to be mean or a smartie pants but GROW UP!!!!!! Until you can get over your issues with this mans son........when his son is home (his dads house is ';his'; other home)....you should make other plans......If my dude only got his son every couple of months I would not even want to be with the two of them......not because I am wanting any attention.....but because it is better for the child to have his dads undivided attention. And hey............I am a grown a s s woman and I have this man most of the time anyways........You cant back off for a few days every few months???





Yes, you are showing signs of being very jealous and possesive of a man who only gets his sone every couple of months. That is not a lot of time to see his only son.....and you have issues with it when they are together? WOW!!! You are with this man constantly and he cant spend time with his son and show his son attention and affection without you getting ';irritated';? Did you know he had a son before you started dating him? Did you consider you may not want to date anyone who has kids? It does not sound like you should.





Also, since the boy is ONLY 5 and does not see his dad often.....he has every right to demand all his attention. The child does not sound like an annoying little brat.......he sounds like he is 5.........needs his dad.......and needs to spend drama-free time with him!!!!








Go to the spa, hang out with your gurls, go take some yoga classes........but dont hate on little man..........he is only 5.
this is what kids are about.





i admit it's harder to deal with if it's somebody else's child. but there's nothing wrong with the way this kid is acting, and fatherhood is forever. you can decide if you can live with it or need to move on to a new b.f.
I couldn't help notice that as an adult you get irritated at having your boyfriend's time taken away from you...and yet you expect his 5-year-old son...who sees him only every couple of months to act differently?





Go back and read your question and then ask yourself if YOU could possibly ALSO be the one 'asking a billion questions', and 'making loud noises', and thinks everyone should give their attention to you, and can be somewhat of a nuisance. Maybe YOU are the one who always has to sleep in the same bed as your guy, and always has to be all over him AS IF you have nobody else to play with....sound familiar?
You know, its hard to answer this accurately without having been in the situation yourself. I have, and I can honestly tell you that its going to get worse! The kid will sense your jealousy and begin to get a kick out of it as he gets older. He will purposely begin to do things that he knows will piss you off! He will demand ALL of your boyfriends attention! If you are the jealous type, take it from me, leave NOW before it gets worse for you and find yourself another man b/c both you and his son will be competing against each other like forever. My husbands 17 y/o son never got over or grew out of it. He still competes with me and I have been with his dad since he was 2......Again, they will sense the jealousy so if you are not a jealous person, you have no problem but if you are, hang on for the ride!!! ITS NOT WORTH IT!!! If you cant control your jealousy, LEAVE NOW!!! I have been there and I still am!
If you love him, you will understand that his son is a special part of his life. His son is young and needs attention. I'm sure you do too, but when you date a man with children, you come second. If you feel jealous and don't like sharing him, maybe you should date someone without children.
Not only have i dated but married the guy i dated with 3 kids. I've been around his kids for 7 yrs now. They are now 20, 15, and 13. Believe me i'd be lying if i said i don't feel the same way you do from time to time. And we see them more often then you do with your boyfriend's son.





First you have to come to the idea that if your going to be with this guy, this child will be part of this relationship. PERIOD! There is no changing that, and you need to think is this something I can handle? Honestly. If you can't there is nothing wrong with that, it would be very wrong to stay in the relationship and resent this child.





Remember he didn't ask to be born in to this relationship. He didn't ask for his mom to live so far from his dad. Which that has to be hard for him. My 8 yr old neice lives this way and sees us only 1 time a year. It's very hard on her.





As to what his son is doing......Remember for him a few months from dad seems like an eternity. So when he's around his dad, everything is about doing things with dad. It's all about how much he has missed his dad. So latching on to his dad like he does is his way of physically remembering what it's like to be around dad. He is trying to take that feeling home to mom's house because he misses dad so much.





As far as noise, i don't know to many kids who don't make noise. It's part of what they do. I'm sure you made noise at that age. And the questions if you think he ask to many now what will you think when he doesn't ask anything. It will make you worry. Take in to consideration maybe mom doesn't answer his questions and the only way they get answered is if dad answers them. Children are curious, they need to be curious that is how they learn. So he ask a billion questions, turn it on him and ask a billion and one questions. make it fun.





As far as sleeping in dad's bed well he's in a strange place away from his bed room. Let them have their guy time. Let them have a guy night where it's just him and his dad. He needs that. There will come a time where that doesn't happen anymore be patient. Remember out where his dad is at, all he has is dad. He's only there for a short time. So he doesn't have someone else to play with.





Yes you are being harsh but for someone who has never had any experience in doing this, it's somewhat normal. You've gotten to enjoy a bunch of time just you and your guy and now you have to share him.





Again ask your self is this something i can get over? Is this something that i can live with for the next 13 years?





If it's not then get out, dont make this child pay for anymore mistakes his parents have made, ( and no i'm not saying the child is the mistake, i'm saying the two of them no longer being together and in different states is the mistake.)
Ist of all...the guy shouldn't be dating anyone seriously. You should back off 100% while his son is around. You're just his dad's honey. You are temporary in his life. The son is permanent. Never forget that. There's nothing you can do about it. My advice to you is to find someone else who doesn't have baggage, that way you can be the center of attention that you crave so dearly.
his son is 5 years old. the kid will grow out of it.
With them only seeing eachother every couple of months I think it is completely natural for the son wanting all of his father's attention and needing it. You guys can have ';your'; time when he is asleep or with his mother.
It sounds to me that you have a BOYSfriend. The double-edged sword here is that he is a package deal. In my experience, this can be more good than bad!





The good news? Children grow out of the attention seeking.





From reading your question, I don't have to tell you about the bad news...





The best tip I can give you is to do two things:


1. Have a slice of humble pie. Ask your parents what you were like at 5 years-old. Ask them about how they coped with your behaviors (you will find some parallels, I'm sure).





2. YOU DON'T HAVE TO LOVE AND CARE ABOUT YOUR BOYSFRIEND'S SON. You don't even have to like him! But you DO have to give him dignity and respect and allow him to be a child. Especially a child who does not get to see his dad as often as he would like to.





When things get difficult, try to imagine how you would want to be treated if you were put in his situation. I would imagine that as a child who has experienced so much negative change in his family life, he would want to be welcomed into his dad's new life (with you) with a smile and some respect.





I imagine the behaviors that you are witnessing may actually be his way to get to know you. Children aren't the most empathetic or selfless people around (nor should they be at 5 years-old). It may even be his way of telling you that he likes you and wants to share you too.
ok, first I have to say don't have kids by any chance if you can't handle simple questions. lookes like you've long forgotten what it feels like to be a kid. You should let the kid have his dad. or you just don't deserve the guy.
emmm whose the child?...lol...why not forget going out with them ..let them have their daddy son thing...you will never be asked to look after him since he lives so far away...go do girlie stuff with your friends
He only gets to see his son for a few months out of the year. Clearly his son craves his attention, which is a good thing. If his mother is not a good parent, it's possible that the child is in desperate need of attention. You should set your feelings aside and let his son smother his father because it's possible that later on in life his son's mother will try to talk badly about his father to turn the child against him. It happens all the time. Let your boyfriend's son get all the attention he needs. Unfortunately, when children need that much attention, it's because they aren't getting it. As for sleeping in the same bed, he is 5, he doesn't need to be doing that.
He's acting just like a normal 5yr who hasn't seen someone he loves very much in a while. Think of not seeing someone you adore for a couple of months and then getting to spend a couple days with them. You'd want their attention, to do activities together etc. No, you probably wouldn't make a lot of noise or ask a lot of questions, but you're also not 5yrs old.


Let your boyfriend and his son spend as much time together as possible. Help make the visiting time extra special. Ask your boyfriend if you could plan an activity for the three of you to do to show him that you're interested in being involved with his son. Otherwise, go out and have some ';me time'; while they're doing stuff together.


Best wishes and happy new year =]
Are you sure you're ready to deal with a child? Right now your man only sees his son every couple of months, what if that changes? You gave no indication in your question that your man tries to make you part of the ';family';. If he did, are you ready for instant parenthood? You can love your man, but not be too interested in the child. There's nothing wrong with you, but there may be something not right about staying in a relationship where you feel you must compete with your man's son rather than share in your man's joy having his son visit.
He is a 5 year old boy. It's okay he will grow out of it. He doesn't get to see his dad all of the time.When he is with his father give them both space. Go shopping,see a movie....etc. He wants to spend time with his dad,it's o.k. You sound like you don't care for his son, that's o.k too tho he's not yours. but think about this, Say if your father got with some chic that you thought was annoying as hell wouldn't you want to make her life a living nightmare? I would! I don't think you want that little boy to turn on you!