How to deal Boyfriend was in a motorcycle accident and now he has a bad attitude and making mean comments to m?

Ok, so my boyfriend of just over a year got in a motorcycle accident Aug 30. He fractured his scaphoid bone in his wrist that had to have a pin put in. Had surgery on the 9th of Sept. He also has as they put it a ';minor'; fracture in his pelvis. He is a regional truck driver and so he is off work till January. We have lived together for the past 6 months but he was only really at home Friday afternoon-Monday Morning. He is healing but is still in a lot of pain. He has a hard time sleeping and stays up late. Then sleeping till I come home at lunch time then sleeps when I go back to work. He has just started moving around without the walker. He likes me to stay up too but I get tired and cranky. I work 8-5 m-f in finance. I have been doing everything around the house, yard work, cooking, cleaning and taking care of him. He gets sooooooo mad at me when I do something ';wrong';. Just last night he yelled at me for flopping down on the couch and bumping his arm. He called me an elephant and berated me for things I had done in my past. He also said only little kids flop down on the couch. He also said that I'm not sexy and don鈥檛 acts like a lady. I had a past relationship that put me in a lot of debt (20,000+) which will be paid off in 5 years and the ex is not someone he thinks highly of. He is debt free and has some savings. May past has always bugged him. He says that it is because I was so stupid and it makes him doubt my decision making. That is another question for later. He also says he can't trust me to not go crazy and spend money. I have also gained 20 or so pounds since we started dating. Mostly my fault but I also have a medical condition and was not being treated correctly. I was also the thinnest I have every been when I met him. I was just having such a good time you know the saying Fat and Happy. I have lost around 5-10 and toned up I have a ways to go but I'm working on it. Anyway he said that he could never marry anyone who was so stupid and fat. I was so tired that I just walked away. I also have been bugging him about when we are going to get married. But, I think that is due to mind and body just being tried that I keep nagging him about it. After a while he said he was sorry and just depressed and in pain. I'm not sure what is going on he was so sweet right after the accident and very loving and appreciative of me. Now those moments are few and far between. I know that he does not understand all I have been doing for him. Another thing is he wants to fool around or have sex several times a day. I can barely get through the day yet alone want sex. He gets upset when I don't ';get turned on';, ';say not now'; or initiated it. He also does not want me to go anywhere other than the store, work etc. SO, how do I deal with him and help him be the sweet loving guy I know. He has got me a massage, paid for dinner and let me go shopping a little big. I'm also in charge of his finances so he is paying his share of the bills. Oh I'm 30 and he will be 28 in a month. The bike was totaled and was a 650 Ninja.How to deal Boyfriend was in a motorcycle accident and now he has a bad attitude and making mean comments to m?
You have taken on a huge responsibility, that you did not intend to ever have to do...but on the other hand, he did not ever think he would have to go thru this either. He obviously has been responsible, at least in the way of bills, etc. I am sure he is a complete nervous wreck thinking about how he is going to be able to afford not working for 4-5 months.





Plus, now he his sort of helpless, and I don't know if you know anything about a man's mentality, but if he's a man that is used to providing, and taking care of hisself, it is going to do al but impossible to stay positive while he is going thru the worst time of his life.





I am not saying he has the right to treat you like dirt, after all you are doing for him, but if you truly value your relationship, then find a way to talk to him about the way he is acting.





I would also advise that you don't wait until you are right in the middle of one of his episodes. Cook him a nice dinner, and when things are going well, take it upon yourself to bring it up, in a calm, warm manner.





Good Luck! This will probably be the hardest thing both of you will go thru, but if you are able to survive it in a positive way, your relationship will be able to handle the worst of the worst from here on out!How to deal Boyfriend was in a motorcycle accident and now he has a bad attitude and making mean comments to m?
first of all its really not you and you have to tell yourself that let him get through and be there for him
you wrote that you have been with this guy for over a year, so i wouldnt feel right telling you to just walk away, even though you've only lived together for six months, it sounds like he depends on you a whole lot. i understand that he was in an accident, and that sucks, but that doesnt give him the right to treat you like that. and on the other hand, you wrote that you keep nagging him about getting married. maybe you need to be patient, i mean he was in a horrible accident and needs time to heal but if he continues treating you that way, and you feel like things may get worse, then maybe you need to leave.
WHEW, that's some list u have there honey, well now Katie, let's try and help you.


First things first, has he ever said or done anything like this before, if yes then my advice is to cut your losses and get him out of our life, you don't need that ****, if not, then it's probably down to the stress of his condition and inability to work, in which case you have to be thick skinned until things get back to normal and do what u can to bring his self esteem and health back up to where it should be without burning yourself out. (self preservation is key)


With regard to your weight, only you can say when you're happy, if you don't feel good about yourself how you are now then you already know what you have to do, if you want to lose weight you have to combine good diet and exercise, (slowly slowly catchy monkey) rapid weight loss is no good for your body.


About the sex side of things, if you are stressed as is evident from your predicament then you wont feel like it, also you wont feel like it if you don't feel good about yourself or if your are resenting him for his behavior, so, do what u must in order to feel good about yourself and things should get progressively better.


Sounds like he has some insecurity issues if you want this to work then you should work on those issues.


Remember that once he's better things will get better, he'll be away more and you'll each have your own space again, all you have to be sure of is, is he being straight with you when he's away,is all this behavior because he's missing something that he's not getting because he's not working and therefore not traveling.


Sorry if the last bit raises more questions but it is important to find out.


Hope this help you figure something out, good luck and i hope it work out for you no matter what you decide.


By the way that was a nice bike.