How to deal with boyfriends ex-girlfriend?

I feel like my relationship with my boyfriend of 8 months is great, apart from issues I have with his friendships with exes/girls he used to date. He tends to try to keep in touch with them, especially one girl who he went out with for 4 years and split up with 2/3 years ago.





We are both in our late 20s, very much in love and i don't want to ruin things. It's just that when we first met, he still seemed attached to his ex. He had photos of her, she would call quite a lot, he spoke about her often. I think this was partly because he'd not had another serious girlfriend until meeting me...he'd just dated casually for a few years and enjoyed some time being single.





As we've become closer, this attachment has decreased, but she is still there in the background somewhat and i find this difficult to deal with.





A few months ago she came over to catch up with old friends (she lives overseas) and invited my boyfriend and told him to bring me. I felt nervous but thought it was nice that she included me, and we actually got on quite well. It seemed to help with my feelings about the situation too.





Now I learn she is coming over again, and my boyfriend has asked if it's cool for us to meet up with her. I've said yes, because I don't want to be unfair, but part of me feels a bit irritated. I wonder if she is always going to be 'there'. She hasn't got another boyfriend yet, and I'm wondering if this is partly the reason for her trip...apparently she is attracted to a guy she works with, but he has started dating her friend. So she was angry, got drunk, and ended up booking flights to the UK!





I can't help feeling she still wants my boyfriend for emotional support. I told him i would feel uncomfortable if he saw her on his own, even though I trust him. I just think it's a bit disrespectful and inconsiderate. Am I wrong to feel this way? My boyfriend went very quiet and didn't seem too happy when I said this...I guess he felt like was trying to control him. But why should he see her without me? It doesn't feel right somehow.





How do I deal with all of this? She genuinely seems a nice person, but I wish she would hurry up and get her own boyfriend! I doubt she would be so keen to see my boyfriend if she had moved on...am I right there? Do I just need to be patient somehow and wait for their friendship to decline gradually? I think it's cool they are friends, but just not to this level. I don't want to have to hang out with her all the time. I am also worried she may move back to our city, and I will have to see more of her ;-(





Help and advice appreciated!!How to deal with boyfriends ex-girlfriend?
I totally agree with run to the hills on this because she should be out of the picture and his attention should be focused on you and only you!


If he refuses to listen then just bring another one of ur ex's back and make him feel wat u are feeling. :)How to deal with boyfriends ex-girlfriend?
SHE NEEDS A LIFE!!!!!!! Tell him to back off of her or else you'll bring an ex back into the picture. I think he needs a little taste of his own medicine. Don't wait patiently, take affirmative action NOW. My bf has done this to me before and we've broken up several times over it. He always talks highly of his ex and then gets in my face and tells me 'never say that about her AGAIN!!!'. I don't want this to happen to you, so I'd tell him that this visit is the only one. If you feel ignored in anyway while y'all are together with her, make him leave or walk out. If he doesn't come after you, sweet sweet karma will take care of the rest. Even if he tries to get back with her, she won't even want his sorry ***. He is trying to control you by forcing you to see someone that shouldn't even matter anymore.