his mother makes comments to him often about how he should move back home, that he doesn't have to live on his own right now.
my boyfriend and i moved out on our own-- no pressure. we felt we are ready and it has been working great.
with the holidays, its become even worse.
she wants to know what my plans are-- and says i should go to my families home while he spends the holidays at their home. she makes it a point to say that he shouldnt want to go anywhere else, or eat other peoples dinner.
my boyfriend has very nicely told her that we are spending the holidays together, and will be visiting each family members home together. he tries his best to speak up, but doesnt want to make waves either.
she created a facebook page, and has conversations with her friends about how ';close'; she is with her sons. detailing everything, including how she knows when they have sex. this conversation also came up at thanksgiving dinner.
i was absolutely humiliated! that was a private time between my boyfriend and i, and i would never think of commenting on her sex life.
how can i deal with this? i have not said anything to her, but my boyfriend and i recognize that this is not right, no matter how much you love you child.
we want to get married and have children in the next few years, if she is making us this miserable now, how can we keep dealing with this?
any advice is very much appreciated.
Tips to deal with boyfriends mother?
Your boyfriend isn't doing either of you favors by detailing his life to his mother. He does need to learn how to respectfully stand up to her which mom might be using to split you two apart knowing his weaknesses...if he is unable. It sounds like the issue is mom lovingly asking son how he is doing if he has a problem between you two or something he doesn't understand, he asks mom.
With mom, just remeber this is your boyfriends mother. If you dis her things could get ugly between him and you. As maturely as possible, if something is siad directly to you, stay cool, ask exactly what is meant by it, and assertively but respectfully address the issue.
When she sees you are not a child she can manipulate, she may develop more respect for you. Just don't let yourself get drawn into any family drama which mom may want in her life. Don't give her any, and don't give her anything to talk bad about with your personality.
A solution would be if your boyfriend can find a different mentor, other than his mom at this point, and seek advice from them when he needs an ear other than yours. He needs a guy, not woman, in his life that has experience and sound wisdom.Tips to deal with boyfriends mother?
You sound like a good sensible girl. You have a bad situation there.
Maybe you can deal with it with humor. Laugh at yourself and the situation.
Or maybe you can get friendlier with your boyfriend's mom to get her more on your side.
No matter what she sas be nice.But if she goes way out of line say something to her, nothing mean just something simple. Like take her aside and tell her how you feel get teary eyed and stuff. But dont let her get in the way of true love.
You're just going to have to call her on her crap and tell her to cut it out.
If it gets to bad, move and don't tell her where you are.
Take a dump on her couch
truth be told i think u were right by not saying anything to her yet. but if u don't stand up and say something she'll continue and it WILL get worse. u can :
go to her husband and ask 4 help
can very very nicely tell her to back off
go out of state and away from her
can start acting like a goody-goody soon-to-be-daughter-in-law
bring both ur families in together and do one big celebration.
I'm sorry but thats all got. i'm less then 15 years old and get my ideas from books. i hope this helps, if not that good luck.
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